But there is one belief with which I firmly do not agree and I think it’s time we stop being afraid to say how we really feel.
All babies are not cute.
I’m sorry, but they’re just not. There are some trollerific babies out there. We’ve all seen them but we keep those beliefs inside because we have these visions of being labeled heartless and being handed our one-way tickets to Hell, which we'll undertake in a vehicle with Nirvana and System of a Down on a constant loop and Easy Rider repeating infinitely on the screens in front of us and our riding partner who just so happens to be Kathy Griffin and she just will not shut up.
This needs to end. You shouldn't have to feel bad for your beliefs. I would NEVER tell a parent that his or her baby was not cute, but I am not afraid to say it when that family leaves and someone says, “Oooooh wasn’t Oscar just adorable?” No, actually, Oscar was not adorable; Oscar looked like this:
I don’t treat ugly babies any differently, just as I don’t treat ugly adults any differently. Does my saying this mean that I myself will have an ugly baby? I’m absolutely sure of it. I don’t expect to birth an angelic cherub baby when motherhood comes my way. Indeed, when I was born I resembled a small hairy monkey and I’m sure my progeny will make their entrance into this world in a stunningly similar fashion. That doesn’t change the fact that in this world,
There are cute babies
And there are ugly babies
(There are also REALLY cute babies)
You will not hear me say “Oh look at that cute baby” every time a stranger passes me with a stroller simply because it contains a baby. Babies do not inherently equal cute. Many ugly babies go on to make extremely cute children. I, as a baby, had a face that was too long and thus I always looked distraught or "special," but my toddler years were much more kind to me and those who had to look at pictures of me. Thankfully, I honestly and truly find all of my friends' and family members' babies to be seriously cute. It's been quite nice knowing that I will not have to lie to anyone I personally know.
The point is, we should not be afraid to disagree with the belief that all babies are cute because it's an erroneous belief. Those of us unafraid to admit the existence of ugly babies would never tell an ugly baby's parents or family/friend who would take offense, but it doesn't mean that we don't think it. We just hope that we are not asked, “Isn't my baby cute” thus forcing us to lie because that is NOT a question you answer honestly if you do not in fact think said baby is cute. You say to a trusted friend or family member, “Holy Lord, what the Hell happened in there?” and hope that the child grows out of its face.
I'll be posting pictures of my ugly children in a few years.
3 comments:
I completely agree with this. I must admit that there are a few baby photos in the Tournament of Cuteness that I simply don't find cute at all. I'm sure their parents think they're adorable, but in reality...not so much.
It is so funny that you wrote about ugly babies and posted the troll picture. When boy was born, the nurse brought him out for me and Cathy to see and the first thing out of Cathy's mouth was, "he looks just like a troll!" Of course, he had JUST been born, his head was pointy, his face red and rosey. Of course after being washed up and a cap put on that little dunce head, he was totally adorable - I promise!
He was also wearing a UNC sweatsuit :) GO RAMS! - Oh sorry that's VCU RAMS!
So, so true. Some babies make me cringe and think, "wow, what happened?" Thankfully, 1. I've never been tactless enough to say it, 2. the husband shares the same opinions so we can rag on ugly babies together, and 3. our girls are not ugly troll babies. At least we don't think they are.
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