Bully Video

*3/16/11 Update: Bully was also suspended. CJ and Farkus were reportedly suspended for 4 days. Good, but I still believe that bully should have been suspended for longer than his victim since the entire incident would not have taken place if not for his initial and repeated actions. Oh and Farkus's parents are upset from all the negative attention and "tormenting" they're receiving since the story went global. The irony is hysterical.

Many of you, I'm sure, have seen this video. If you haven't, I highly recommend it:



*For the purposes of this discussion, the bully will be referred to as "Farkus" and the bullied kid will be referred to as "Chuck Norris Jr." or "CJ."

Bullying is a big topic in education circles these days. What causes it? How do we stop it? How should we tell kids to deal with it? The accepted solution being touted right now is to tell a teacher or the principal. Yes, tell an adult and then that adult will tell your bully to stop picking on you because that's all a bully's really missing right--a authority figure with no real power telling him to stop? Surely a teacher going to a bully isn't going to focus the target even more around you, right? No, it's actually going to tighten up the grouping of punches landed on your face.

What a bully is missing is an ass-kicking. Bullies pick on others they find weaker than themselves. This isn't cutting edge academic research; it's basic. You're not going to pick on someone you think is stronger than you. Farkus thought CJ was too fat and/or too shy to actually fight back, so he picks on someone who is physically larger than him because that looks badass. CJ takes it for a while, having been taught not to fight back because it's wrong to fight back (that was physically difficult to write). Never mind that animals in the wild (and in the streets) have to fight back against aggressors all the time to protect their health, safety and, well, life. We humans should just stand there and take it while we hope a teacher or other authority figure is able to talk the bully down. This is of course always effective because children today--especially those who would be bullies--are so respectful of authority and have no real understanding of how much authority and power teachers and school administrators actually lack. Surely they don't know that teachers can't actually do anything, right? And surely they don't know that many teachers are actually afraid of some students--like those who would be bullies--and generally should avoid confrontation. This is not a knock on teachers in any way. They really have very little power when it comes to disciplining the actions of someone they haven't actually seen committing the action and it's not like they can fight the bully.

Yeah, bullies know this. Farkus knows this.

Well, Farkus, too bad for you because CJ knows this too.

And CJ had enough.

Considering the fact that this confrontation was recorded with a camera phone, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this isn't the first time Farkus picked on CJ. I honestly do not believe that this is the first time CJ had been backed up against the wall, punched and taunted by Farkus and someone just so happened to capture this first-time encounter on video. No, something tells me CJ has been in this exact situation before and this time, he had had enough. This time, CJ went all Ralphie on his ass.
I'll bet CJ will be walking around that Australian campus with his head held high and bully-free when he returns from his suspension.

At the base of it, even stronger than our ability to think rationally, we humans are animals. When we feel genuinely threatened, we should not be afraid to fight back against an aggressor. I'm not talking about punching a kid who's teasing you. CJ wasn't just teased and taunted. Farkus had punched him FIVE times before he fought back. After he fought back and got his attacker off of him, he walked away while the kid got up like a squashed bug attempting to walk after the shoe had been lifted off of him. No fight erupted, he didn't take on Farkus's friends or even continue to grind Farkus's face in the concrete. He extinguished the threat and moved on. This is going to sound weird, but I can't think of a more realistic civilized reaction to a threat. It's a lot more effective and realistic than telling CJ to tell his teachers and putting his safety in the hands of powerless administrators who are likely just as fearful of kids like Farkus as the children are.

I know you can't tell kids to fight back, but you can address the situation accordingly. You don't suspend CJ for fighting back and let Farkus go unpunished (as the most recent reports are suggesting). I personally would not suspend CJ for defending himself because quite frankly, I don't think he did anything wrong. Again, he was actually being punched--not just teased--and the attack was not ending until CJ ended it. If you're going to suspend him, though, you allow him to make up any missed assignments and you suspend Farkus for a longer period of time without that benefit. In this case, I'd also suspend the kid taping the incident and the bystanders who egged it on.

But maybe I'm biased...

When I was in Kindergarten, Brother was in 4th grade. We stayed at the home of the best babysitter in the world and we had almost 10 kids at our stop alone. Our bus was usually pretty packed. There was an older kid--4th or 5th grade--who began picking on me. Brother and I didn't get along at the time but he was very protective of me when it came to others. He could pick on me and hit me, but I was his sister so he felt that was his right. He informed the kid several times that he needed to stop picking on me.

Side note: What kind of parents raise a boy who picks on a girl, especially a girl who's 4 years younger? Seriously.

Kid did not stop picking on me so Brother made him stop picking on me. I can't remember if he pushed and/or hit him but he physically made the hoodlum stop picking on me. Brother has to go to the principal's office for fighting.

Both of my parents work and it was usually my mom who had to leave her place of work to come get us if we were sick or, in this case, in trouble. She left work and came to the school and was briefed of the issue.

Mom: "So let me get this straight. Older kid was picking on "Em" and her brother told him to stop. The kid did not stop so Brother took care of him?"
Principal: "Yes, that's correct."

My mom's response in that office?

"I don't see the problem here. Brother, go on to class and I'm going back to work."

I was not picked on by that kid again. Bus Bully and Brother didn't get into anymore fights and Bus Bully left me alone from then on.