I haven't traveled a great deal at all. I do believe that this facet of my life kept me from meeting Prince William and living out my life's destiny of becoming an actual princess instead of just the royalty I believe myself to be in my head, but I digress. Until a few months ago, I had never been in a state that did not border the Atlantic Ocean. I have now been west of the Appalachians and it was quite exciting. Clearly, I want to travel because almost anywhere is new to me. And new = exciting. Very exciting. When riding through Indiana and Illinios is the highlight of your recent traveling life, there's an issue. I've never had a passport and I have no reason to need one in the near future. I need to see more.
You would think, then, that I'd be willing to go almost anywhere. Assuming a trip is free, this might be true but even then there are places that you probably couldn't pay me to go. I think we all have these types of places. Those places -- the ones that don't necessarily contain those roads visited frequently by Westerners accustomed to certain luxuries (like bathrooms) -- aren't really the focus here. There are perfectly legitimate travel destinations that I have no desire to visit.
Places I Have No Desire to Visit
1. Africa.
Nope, no desire to go to Africa. I mean sure, I'd go to South Africa where English is spoken widely, but even there the water is pretty cold so I don't fancy myself taking kindly to the beaches. There are penguins there though and that might be enough to change my mind. The rest of Africa though? No thanks. Maybe Egypt, but really once I see the pyramids I'm done. When I think of vacations, sweating in the desert or on a safari seeing animals I can see in any North American zoo is not a part of the fantasy. I prefer not to be dusty and frightened that these animals may turn on us at any time. When I think of Africa, I think of hot and dusty and that's just not my idea of relaxing.
2. India.
If it came to it, I would pay to avoid going to India. With my personal space issues, India is not a comfortable choice to me. I get very uncomfortable and anxious and slightly ADD if someone has infiltrated my bubble. I can't think of anything other than the breach of bubble security. Combined with the aforementioned dislike of heat, I think India would cause extreme internal discomfort. I also don't know what I'd eat. I'm the pickiest adult eater with whom you'll ever come into contact and it's not like I can eat beef there. India would not be fun for me.
3. Actually, most of Asia.
Okay, so I kind of want to go to Japan but otherwise Asia doesn't interest me that much. A lot of that comes from the food thing, but there's also a distinct language barrier I don't think I'll ever break. I also picture Asia as very humid and full of people who don't respect my bubble.
4. Detroit.
I like cars, but not enough.
5. Iowa.
I don't like corn so I think Iowa would just be a total bust.
6. Amsterdam.
I've never smoked pot and I needn't any prostitutes so I feel like I'd be wasting my time. And Amsterdam's time. I'll spend my time in other European places.
7. Mexico.
So I hear Cabo is cool, but I can go other tropical places where drug cartels and narcotraffickers don't visit tourist destinations for victims. Mexico is actually quite dangerous. I've always just thought that if I could afford the cost of a vacation to a destination with great beaches, it would be somewhere in which I'm comfortable leaving my resort and has more history that I care about. When I vacation, I want to feel safe, clean and be able to drink the water.
8. The Bahamas.
It just seems so over. I'm also told it's dirty and people swarm on you.
9. The Middle East.
It's dusty. It's scary. I wouldn't be able to eat anything. I'm also Christian, look Jewish and have assets that are difficult to hide. I think travel here for me could be sketchy.
10. Las Vegas.
I'm not a dude at a bachelor party. I'm not a stripper at a dude's bachelor party. I've been to Atlantic City and AC at least has boardwalks on the beach. I see no reason to visit a bigger AC in the middle of the desert. Also, the phrase "What happens in Vegas" has spawned so many copycat sayings for places that are not nearly as interesting or sinful that it makes me somewhat resent Las Vegas. Your reputation precedes you, Vegas, and I'm uninterested.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
List One: Annoyances/Happinesses
Sometimes I feel the need to write down my annoyances if only because sometimes reading them puts them in perspective and I get over myself. Then sometimes someone else reads them and says "Hey that annoys me too" and I feel instantly vindicated. However, as I'm trying to become a happier person, I have decided that I will not produce a list comprised of only annoyances, but will instead balance out said list with things that make me happy. I will do the happy one last so it will end on the high note. I will also ensure that I come up with at least one more Thing That Makes Me Happy than Thing That Annoys Me. I'm positive like that.
Things that annoy me:
1. People coming to me at work before trying to figure it out on their own. Of course, if it was something I regularly did and was a part of my job then this wouldn't be an issue. But it never is. Today, for instance, I received an e-mail that our location on the campus map was incorrect and could I "have someone fix this immediately." I have nothing to do with campus maps, much less how they appear on the website. You know who does? Creative Services, as indicated on this webpage. There is a button at the bottom of the page for "Send us updates or comments." Instead of that person who noticed the issue--and is the only one WITH an issue b/c our location actually isn't "wrong" per se--hitting that button and filling out the web form, she e-mailed me when all I will be able to do is hit said button.
2. Someone asking me to do something because they don't want to do it. Again, it's not necessarily my job, they just don't want to do it. I know you don't want to order the lunches, but what makes you think I want to just because I've done it before? I hate doing it. It's coming to your people for your event and is getting charged to your account. What makes it worse is that you came to me for assistance and after I had provided you with all of the necessary information and contacts, you literally handed it back to me and said "Can you do this? I hate calling for this stuff." What the heck?
3. People who drive in the rain/snow/dark without headlights. Not only is it the law to have your lights on in these conditions, but we other drivers cannot see you otherwise. It's never the people who drive bright yellow or red cars either. Ninety-eight per cent of the time, it's people driving silver, gray, white, or some other color automobile that blends in seamlessly with the environment.
4. When people switch up their routine and in doing so, disrupt mine. I'm an intense creature of habit. I'm not a fan of change once I've established a routine that works for me. This was never more prominent than when I was in school and 8 weeks into the semester, a classmate had decided he or she wanted to sit in the seat I had occupied for the previous 8 weeks of class. I don't want to sit anywhere else, if I did then I would have sat there on the first day of class. That whole class where I sat somewhere differently would be a complete loss for me b/c I'd be able to think of nothing else and I'd be uncomfortable. I'd be wondering why, halfway through the semester, someone had decided they wanted to sit somewhere else and why that happened to be my seat. Likewise, if I've been parking in the same spot at work for a year and you've been parking in the same spot for about that long, don't decide one week that you'll take my spot. It's weird and it disrupts my day and we've established by now that I'm very important and can't have my day disrupted.
5. Christmas songs by former Beatles. Hate them. Give me Nat King Cole and Burl Ives and you keep your depressing Beatles.
6. People who always need your help but are too busy to provide you with some the very few times you ask for it. In a similar vein, people who ask for help they don't need. When I show up with 10 bags on my arms and I can walk to the front, please don't call me to come downstairs and open the back door b/c you have a single box--that I end up carrying.
Things that make me happy!:
1. Champagne. Hand me a glass of light crisp champagne and watch my smile illuminate my face. Korbel Brut=happiness in a flute. Or, you know, Solo cup.
2. Football. September-February I don't mind Sundays. The rest of the year though? Sundays blow.
3. Diet Dr. Pepper.
4. Snow!
5. My nephews. I could sit and watch them play and learn for hours. Hearing the oldest learn my name and actually want to hang out with me fills me with more joy than I could ever imagine.
6. MAC makeup. It's only the best.
7. My two cats. They're only the cutest things ever and I swear they understand me and we can communicate rather effectively. You've seen the crazy cat lady? That's going to be me when I get a larger house and find someone to divorce me and leave me alone, paving the way for increased feline presence. Enter 50 cats.
Things that annoy me:
1. People coming to me at work before trying to figure it out on their own. Of course, if it was something I regularly did and was a part of my job then this wouldn't be an issue. But it never is. Today, for instance, I received an e-mail that our location on the campus map was incorrect and could I "have someone fix this immediately." I have nothing to do with campus maps, much less how they appear on the website. You know who does? Creative Services, as indicated on this webpage. There is a button at the bottom of the page for "Send us updates or comments." Instead of that person who noticed the issue--and is the only one WITH an issue b/c our location actually isn't "wrong" per se--hitting that button and filling out the web form, she e-mailed me when all I will be able to do is hit said button.
2. Someone asking me to do something because they don't want to do it. Again, it's not necessarily my job, they just don't want to do it. I know you don't want to order the lunches, but what makes you think I want to just because I've done it before? I hate doing it. It's coming to your people for your event and is getting charged to your account. What makes it worse is that you came to me for assistance and after I had provided you with all of the necessary information and contacts, you literally handed it back to me and said "Can you do this? I hate calling for this stuff." What the heck?
3. People who drive in the rain/snow/dark without headlights. Not only is it the law to have your lights on in these conditions, but we other drivers cannot see you otherwise. It's never the people who drive bright yellow or red cars either. Ninety-eight per cent of the time, it's people driving silver, gray, white, or some other color automobile that blends in seamlessly with the environment.
4. When people switch up their routine and in doing so, disrupt mine. I'm an intense creature of habit. I'm not a fan of change once I've established a routine that works for me. This was never more prominent than when I was in school and 8 weeks into the semester, a classmate had decided he or she wanted to sit in the seat I had occupied for the previous 8 weeks of class. I don't want to sit anywhere else, if I did then I would have sat there on the first day of class. That whole class where I sat somewhere differently would be a complete loss for me b/c I'd be able to think of nothing else and I'd be uncomfortable. I'd be wondering why, halfway through the semester, someone had decided they wanted to sit somewhere else and why that happened to be my seat. Likewise, if I've been parking in the same spot at work for a year and you've been parking in the same spot for about that long, don't decide one week that you'll take my spot. It's weird and it disrupts my day and we've established by now that I'm very important and can't have my day disrupted.
5. Christmas songs by former Beatles. Hate them. Give me Nat King Cole and Burl Ives and you keep your depressing Beatles.
6. People who always need your help but are too busy to provide you with some the very few times you ask for it. In a similar vein, people who ask for help they don't need. When I show up with 10 bags on my arms and I can walk to the front, please don't call me to come downstairs and open the back door b/c you have a single box--that I end up carrying.
Things that make me happy!:
1. Champagne. Hand me a glass of light crisp champagne and watch my smile illuminate my face. Korbel Brut=happiness in a flute. Or, you know, Solo cup.
2. Football. September-February I don't mind Sundays. The rest of the year though? Sundays blow.
3. Diet Dr. Pepper.
4. Snow!
5. My nephews. I could sit and watch them play and learn for hours. Hearing the oldest learn my name and actually want to hang out with me fills me with more joy than I could ever imagine.
6. MAC makeup. It's only the best.
7. My two cats. They're only the cutest things ever and I swear they understand me and we can communicate rather effectively. You've seen the crazy cat lady? That's going to be me when I get a larger house and find someone to divorce me and leave me alone, paving the way for increased feline presence. Enter 50 cats.
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