I haven't been feeling well lately, so I've been reading a lot of the Us Magazines my friend Ella-MF-Nor has given me while sitting on the couch, drinking cold uncarbonated things while my golf-ball-sized tonsils almost touch one another. In those magazines, some celebrity gives them a list of 25 things people don't know about them. They're usually completely full of crap. Like, no, Jessica Alba, you wouldn't be a molecular physicist tribesman machinist if you weren't an actress. You'd be an actress, just an unfamous one. The lists are ridiculous.
So I did one!
Here are 25 Things You Don't Know About Me. Unless you already do.
1. My mom has mispelled my middle name. In the past 2 years. And no, I haven't changed it since she, you know, named me.
2. I could watch Food Network for hours. Until a regular cooking show comes on at least. I don't want to sit for 30 minutes watching Barefoot Contessa, Rachel Ray, Giada DeLaurentis, etc. actually make a 3-course meal. Iron Chef, Cupcake Wars, Diners Drive-Ins and Dives, Sweet Genius...those I could watch forever.
3. I've never seen Braveheart. I've seen Freddie Got Fingered and all of the horrible Twilight movies, but I've never seen Braveheart.
4. I've never been to Disney World. I've been to EPCOT on a field trip, but we weren't allowed to go anywhere else.
5. I've wondered about my own sanity because I like my job.
6. I just chuckled when, while watching Chopped, two contestants next to one another were named Katie and Perry.
7. I'm 5'9" and while on the tall side for a girl, I've never hated my height. I'm not stoked to have to wear flats at my wedding, but it's a small price to pay for never having to ask for help getting something off the top shelf at Target.
8. I regret never playing water polo in college. I'm awesome at treading water. No, for real. I can't do much well, but I can tread water like a beast. Or, fish. My college had a club water polo team that I really very much wanted to try, but I was (am) far too terrified to play a sport in which I donned Princess Leia headgear and a bathing suit that people could see me in. Like, I'd have to walk around in a bathing suit. In front of people. People with eyes.
9. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why people buy any orange juice that's not Simply Orange.
10. Orange juice with pulp disgusts me. Who wants strings and bits in their orange juice? I don't understand why anyone wants to chew their juice.
11. I hate it when I say that I'm not going to have a certain dish because it contains an ingredient of which I'm not very fond and someone replies with "But you can't even taste it!" Then why put it in there? You put stuff in your dish because it flavors it a certain way. You don't put onions in sauce and go, "Throw em there, they taste like nothing!" I don't like margaritas because I abhor tequila. The very smell makes me gag. Don't tell me that a certain margarita is delicious and "you can't even taste the tequila." Yes you can, that's why it's there. If you can't taste the tequila, then they didn't use enough and you got screwed paying $10 for a liquor drink you can't taste.
12. I dream of being a gym rat.
13. I freakin love Jeopardy.
14. My dad's McGyver. Seriously.
15. I know that the largest estuary in North America is the Chesapeake Bay.
16. In 2000, I received the Texaco Geophysics Scholarship at my undergraduate institution. I still want to list that on my resume, because it looks a little awesome that I received that, but earned a BA in Political Science. I don't still list it, but I kinda want to.
17. I have a bachelor's in political science and a master of public administration, but I didn't vote this past Tuesday in the off-off-year election. And I feel no shame.
18. I think Eminem and Weird Al are absolute geniuses. I don't think anyone understands rhythm and the flow of words like Eminem. He can rhyme words that you'd never expect and unlike most rappers, most of his stuff actually tells a story and makes sense, as opposed to just finding words that rhyme. The way Weird Al can devise a parody but make it sound completely legitimate amazes me. They both literally blow my mind.
19. I believe in evolution. But I don't understand how, if we evolved from apes, there are still apes and why there are no half & half man-apes.
20. I have no idea who the front-runner for the Republicans is.
21. The last CD I bought was Adele's 21 and I think the one before that was Metallica's Death Magnetic. I run about a 5-year average between the purchase of CDs.
22. I hated barbecue when I was younger (probably because it wasn't a hamburger, hot dog, or pizza) but now that's what I want at our wedding.
23. I love parmesan cheese on everything. I could use it instead of salt. Forever.
24. I've never gotten up after sunrise on Christmas morning, and I've never stayed at home for the entire day on Christmas Day. I've always, always gotten up pre-dawn and traveled to at least one other place on Christmas Day. It would feel weird to never leave the house on Christmas Day.
25. The strongest and weakest I've ever felt is after I finished a 1000-yard sprint in a regatta earlier this year. It was so fun, so hard and I was so proud of myself when it was over that I didn't quit even though every muscle of me wanted to.
